Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
