You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
