singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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