dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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