I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
