Whatcha textin bout Willis?
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
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