He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
He felt like a one man threesome
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
