It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
