6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
