operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
