It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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