Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
