its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
You ate ashes out of my bong
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
