Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
