I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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