Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
My day in three words: secret purse cake
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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