First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
