Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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