yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I'm at about main and main street
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
