She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
