i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
sex in a hospital.. check
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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