i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
