you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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