I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
