Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
My dick has a subreddit
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
