is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
