I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
40s are totally the cure
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
