my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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