rhymes with "ouble enetration"
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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