Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
well I can't set my house on fire every night
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Randomize
