Need sex. Gaining weight.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
