Dual....:-)
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
