I just gift wrapped bread.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
sex in a hospital.. check
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
