hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
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