I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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