A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
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