Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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