Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize
