I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
When are your genitals available?
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Randomize
