Will you blow on my dice?
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize
