am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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