My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
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