i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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