im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
