Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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