Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I need to align my fucking chakras
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
