A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
