I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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