Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I think I sprained my soul last night
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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