I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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