There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
She even gives head with a lisp.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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