when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
